The Conductor
“No Gods, No Kings, Only Trains!” — The insanity of the Conductor knows no bounds

The Conductor is a mysterious entity. No one knows where he came from, who he is, or what he has done. He only appeared one day and began to corner the market on trains. Eventually, he took over a city, and began to destroy it by building an endless amount of rails and trains over it. The Conductor is a remorseless, merciless tyrant. Nothing will stop him from covering the world in trains.


The Conductor began as a joke on Steam Roulette. While playing A-Train 8, Adam began destroying a city by building train rails over it. James claimed this happened because the city had been taken over by an insane train entrepreneur called the Conductor. He spent his time terrorizing the populace by building rails over their homes. They said he only was able to stay in power by giving trains the right to vote. Ending it with the famous line: "No Gods, No Kings, Only Trains!".


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    A coke-fuelled Charlie Sheen is The Conductor, coming this fall to theaters.

    Bruce stated that the Conductor is one of his favorite characters/jokes.
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