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Gay Russians and Video games don't mix

“Is that Daniel Craig?” — Bruce realizing the robot was Russia's number one enemy James Bond

Patriot (real game name: They're Alive!) is a crazy Russian game made by pro-gay activist Demetri and stars Gaytriot.The plot is mainly about Gay rights in Soviet Russia.

Background Edit

Adam, Bruce and James started playing this game on July 8th, 2014. While downloading this game Lawrences computer got at least 5 viruses. Once they started playing it they secretly were added onto a KGB hit list. They discovered the game was about Russian gay rights.

Plot Edit

The plot is simple: you fight for your right to fuck In Russia. Patriot starts out in a protest outside your work to put gloryholes in the mens bathroom. This lead to violence and Gaytriot had to fight his way out. Later on Gaytriot found Gay-bans and put them on and this let him look into the disgusting world of straight people. He then started beating straight people with a car muffler. Eventually he met a community of fat homeless gay men living in the sewers who were lead by Gaynta(Gay Santa). Gaytriot found a gun and had to fight the straights but after putting on his Gay-bans he discovered that they were actually Anti-Gayliens. Soon he found the Anti-Gaylien base and fought the head Anti-Gaylien. With the head Anti-Gayliens butthole beaten Gaytriot discovered that the whole world was now proud of its gayness and no more children were born and the human race died out.

Characters Edit

  • Gaytriot-Maybe Vladimir Putin. This Gay man fights so he and his kind can live a gay life. See what I did there Gay means happy as well as homosexual.
  • Anti-Gayliens-These Gay hating aliens are the main antagonists of Patriot. They won't rest unless they see all gay life destroyed.
  • Gaynta- Gay Santa is the leader of the homeless gay men living in Russias sewers. He likes to smoke cigars as well as eat potato chips called GaysTM. Every Christmas he delivers anal butt plugs to all the gay kids around the world.

Episodes Edit

  1. FIGHT FOR GAY RIGHTS. Patriot Gameplay!
  2. WE BEAT OFF THE GAME HARD. Patriot Gameplay Part 2!

Trivia Edit

  • This game single-handedly freed Pussy Riot.
  • This game was made with only 5 Russian dollars.
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