Mikey Conway, as described by his brother, is a sack of shit. He is like his brother, in that they both have black play-dough for hair. Mikey just wanted to go with his girlfriend to see Bands. This plan went astray when his chronic masturbator of a brother returned from jerking it in a parking lot and calling it Vietnam. Mikey was almost molested by Colt and Anvil when going to get burgers at a diner called Bands with his brother. This is when shit got crazy, Anvil and Colt noticed that he was wearing a jacket and to go away then come back. This lead to Mikey's tragic death from the hand of some guy with the weirdest irish accent ever. Jake vowed revenge for Mikey's death, but ended up mainly jerking his gherkin in a parking lot thinking about prostitutes.
- Mikey is a sack of shit.
- Mikey loves bands, much to the surprise of his brother Jake.
- No evidence has come up that Mikey was also a chronic masturbator like his brother.