Joel's Ski Resort Movie is a movie about Joel running a ski resort and scoring major babes.
The idea for Joel's Ski Resort Movie came from an episode of the crappy simulators. They make details about a movie starring Joel about an event that actually happened to Joel. The movie itself was a huge success, it came straight to BetaMax. Millions of copies were sold.
Joel (played by Joel Rubin) inherits a ski resort from his nameless and unimportant dead uncle. He runs the ski resort pretty well until a bunch of jocks (played by James Willems and Bruce Greene) show up and cause havoc. They bully other skiers, this leads to Joel challenging them to a downhill race. The only problem is Joel, ironically, doesn't know how to ski. Joel then gets involved in hijinks. There are many hijinks including slipping on a banana peel, blowing up a bathroom toilet with a m-80, and falling on ice. Eventually they have the big ski race. Joel falls behind but after believing in himself and hearing Survivor's 1982 smash hit "Eye of the Tiger" playing, he steps it into high gear. He beats the jocks and after he reaches the foot of the mountain, the lead jock's girlfriend (played by Adam Kovic) is really impressed. Joel says no thanks and kisses the female friend (also played by Joel Rubin) he's had his whole life but has only been platonic up until that point. That's the end.
- Joel (played by Joel Rubin)-Joel is the main character of the movie. He runs the ski resort and has many hilarious antics. Critics says Mr. Rubin's performance was one of the greatest ever.
- Chad and Randy (played by James Willems and Bruce Greene)- Chad and Randy are the main antagonists of the movie. They bully other skiers until Joel challenges them. Many rank them as the best villains to appear in a movie ever.
- Stacy (played by Adam Kovic)- Stacy is Chad's girlfriend. She is one of Joel's main love interests. She is impressed by Joel's skiing skills but Joel rejects her for Joelette. In an extended cut it is shown that Joels decision was wise because Stacy had several STD's, including all strains of Hepatitis and several that haven't been seen since the 1300's.
- Joelette(played by Joel Rubin)- Joelette is Joel's female friend since childhood. Usually she was seen has a horribly ugly bridge troll by Joel but after his big Ski race, he discovers her true beauty when she takes off her glasses. Joel and Joelette are ranked as the greatest couple to ever exist.
- Uncle Ratchet(played by Mack) - This super rich and meth addicted uncle to Joel used to own the Ski resort but died due to a meth overdose. He then leaves the resort to Joel, who he named the resort after.
- Background Jocks (played by Matt Damon, Val Kilmer, and Valerie Bertinelli)- These are just jocks who follow around Chad and Randy and usually high five them when they mock other skiers.
- Sean Connery (played by Sean Connery)-Sean shows up to give Joel advice for the race. When confronted by Background Jocks , Sean killed one with a speargun saying "I think he got the point." He was killed by the other two and when Joel hears this it motivates him more to win the race.
- Joel's Inner Hole (played by Munt)- Joel's conscience, teaching him to do only good but she sucks at her job, which led Joel into drowning dozens of his visitors.
Cultural Impact Edit
Joel's Ski Resort Movie has been heralded as the greatest movie ever made by critics. There were riots in theaters after it came out, this lead to all theaters only showing Joel's Ski Resort Movie 25/7. The movie was eventually released on home video on BetaMax only, this lead to a 3,000,000,000,000,000% increase in BetaMax sales.Joel's Ski Resort Movie single-handedly rescued the worlds economy.
- Joel's Ski Resort Movie temporarily ended hostilities in the Middle East.
- The movie made more money than there is money in the history of the known world.
- Joel's Ski Resort Movie is so good that several people killed themselves after seeing it, probably because they would never see anything as perfect as it again.
- After seeing the movie, Kim Jong Un was so moved, that he killed his whole family in order to establish a democratic and liberal government in North Korea to save the people from him terrorizing the country. After North Korea was freed, Kim Jong Un killed himself.
- Joel uses the money he earned to fund his next project: the infamous Inside Gaming: The Musical musical. It's basically the Assassin's Creed musical he started, but he renamed it because of copyright bullshit.
- Joel's Ski Resort Movie won so many Oscars that the Academy now rates movies on the Joel scale. From 1-100 hips, with Joels Ski resort Movie receiving 100 hips, no movie has come even close to this.