“She loves Bands” — Mikey talking about his "girlfriend"
55th army band 02

"We got a swag overload" -Bands

Bands are the greatest thing about Ride To Hell: Retribution. Everyone loves Bands in the Ride to Hell universe.

Description Edit

Bands are what makes the world go round in the Ride to Hell universe. Mikey wants to see Bands with his girlfriend when his brother, Jake Conway, rudely interrupts him by saying "You like Bands now." Sadly Mikey never got to see Bands as he was killed by a man with a questionable Irish accent. In short Bands make music, which people enjoy.

History Edit

Bands started in the 1870's. They got their start playing in saloons named Bands. They only had two members at the time:Bands Singer and Piano Player(that is their real names guys don't laugh). They played after coming out of the war, which war you say uh the war.

They played music and people liked it. They won the opportunity to play at the fair one year where a record producer, named Record Producer asked them to make a wax cylinder record for them. This record sold tens of copies at a penny a piece. The Band only got two cents for their work which was enough to buy a house and a car. This was all fun and games until Bands Singer became addicted to Heroine, which was sold as cough medicine back then and was totally legal. This split the Band up, until Bands Singer died of diarrhea in 1905. Piano Player was devastated.

In 1965 Piano Player came out of retirement at the age of 108 and formed a new Band with his sons: Guitar Player, Bass Player and their friends Bands Drummer and Singer-in Band. They became platinum selling artists but ditched Piano Player when he died on stage one night. Their popularity was universal until chronic masturbator/"Vietnam veteran" Jake Conway and his sack of shit brother Mikey Conway started liking Bands. Mikey died while trying to go see Bands with his girlfriend.


This is the Bands they wanted to see

Trivia Edit

  • Everyone loves Bands.
  • Bands are love.
  • Bands are life.
  • For some reason though, there were no Bands in Ride to Hell at all.
  • Experts think that Bands are to Mikey what the Prostitutes are to Jake. Just hallucinations created by Mikey's masturbation dreams.
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